No more hos in this house...

As of Monday, our apartment is a ho-free environment. I'm not one to post people's personal dirt on the internet, but we had a ho in our presence and that ho is no longer with us and will not be missed. I feel better. Everytime she says something, my IQ begins to bleed out my ear. Also, I weep for the English language whenever she opens her mouth. So I guess now you can say, "Ding-dong the ho is gone!"

Now to contemplate my next move. I gotta tell ya, unemployment and having too much time on your hands is a mother. Sometimes, I'm just ready to go nuts. Not that I'm already nuts, but hey, who's keeping score.

What dreams may come #2

This is just a series of random thought, so I'll just be sure to make it short and sweet.

Last night, I had this weird frickin' dream about my friends. We were all in the Super Smash Bros. Melee world. My roommate Jon and his friend Chris were Luigi and Mario, respectively. Johnny and Keith were the Ice Climbers, for some odd reason. Rudy and his fiancee were Bowser and Peach, respectively. Finally, I was Link.

So we all were fighting at Princess Peach's castle in the usual Melee style, when Jon does Rock Howard's (King of Fighters, Capcom vs. SNK 2) raging storm. I was like, "What the hell, man. You can't do that." So then I just threw Bison's Psycho crusher for the win. From there, all hell broke loose. Rocket launchers and shotguns ahoy. Rudy grabbed his fiancee, chucked her into a UFO, and zoomed off...with the Confederate tune playing, of course. Johnny and Keith just found a mountain in the background and climbed it, while Keith was complaining about the weather. Me and Jon just fought while Chris chased after some random Catgirl.

(Note to self: Super Smash Bros. and Red Bull at 1:00 a.m. don't mix)

All hail the Smut Lords!!!!!!!!!!

So me and the guys go to a little "shoppe" this weekend. It was a nice little store with knives, knick-knacks, and all sorts of things for your average eccentric. But then, there lied a realm beyond the store...a gateway of epic proportions guarded carefully by sentinels asking for the correct key to enter. Once the sentinel said it was alright, we ventured into the realm beyond the black saloon doors.......Pornucopia!!

We searched and reveled in our discovery as volumes and tomes depicting carnal lust and other prurient thoughts were right at our finger tips.

....If you're not following this by now, we're in a porno store with all kinds of porn for your viewing pleasure^_^

So, then we get to the pricing...$42.99 for a single DVD porno. At this point, me and the fellow Smut Lords decreed that the sacred tomes were too rich for our blood. But as a parting gift, I settled for a nice little magazine.

So we all went back to the house and played Capcom vs. SNK 2 until we passed out.

*kinda disappointed at the pricing as the industry of porn is an extremely saturated one. in cases like that, I only have 2 words for such pricing and the people who try to justify it: Bit Torrent*